This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
