I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
