No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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