You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
