I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
