He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
