come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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