well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize