She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
