What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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