it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
