It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
