It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
