Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize