I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
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