kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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