That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
