Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
