forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
