Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
