ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
