Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
