Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
