YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
