Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
