I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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