Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know her cup size but not her name....
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