I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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