You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
