No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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