1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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