at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
