Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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