Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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