and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
