I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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