Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
