I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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