i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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