Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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