He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
