if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize