well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
