girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
