Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
