yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
