Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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