I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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