My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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