Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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