do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
