my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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