I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
