We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize