I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
