so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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