get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
