He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
