the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
