hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize