We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We have started to decorate penises.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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