At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
