I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
