you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am available for nakedness
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