Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
