Screwed.edu
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
