I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
