we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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